PFM The Magazine
Release Your Inner Passion
Four Guys You Think You Should Date ... but Shouldn't!
Adrenaline Junkie
This dude skydives, surfs, runs with the bulls — anything for that rush. And he has the sick abs and chiseled arms to prove it. But to keep him happy, you need to be in perpetual motion too. This guy does not like to sit around on his rear ... and he doesn't like for you to sit on yours either. And it isn't just a phase. In his late 30s, he'll get into marathons, and they'll lead to triathlons and eventually to the Ironman competition. Yeah, that means a trip to Hawaii ... but instead of chilling on the beach, you'll be cheering him on from the sidelines. Having fun yet?
Nice Guy with a Chip on His Shoulder
He'll ridicule the "tools who are trying too hard" with bold clothing choices to seem down-to-earth, but here's his dirty little secret: He spends just as much time picking out his outfit as his more fashion-conscious counterparts do. Under the casual exterior is a calculating killjoy with mom issues. He'll stand at the bar, thinking, Why is that girl going for that dude over there? One day, she'll come to her senses and get with a nice guy like me! The truth is, he's so preoccupied with being overlooked that he'd be totally oblivious to your attention.
Smooth Operator
He's the type that rolls up to the club in an Escalade and holds court in the VIP section, ordering bottle service all night. Though he got Ds in high school, he now scores A, B, and C cups with entertaining small talk and name-dropping. Yeah, he's a Casanova in a skullcap (it replaced his trucker hat about a year ago). But this lid spells trouble. It takes confidence to pull it off with a straight face — too much confidence. (There is such a thing.) He'll shower you with attention, but beware: You may not be the only chick in that shower
Workaholic Hotshot
This guy is always dressed to the nines, because he's loaded. Simmer down — the cash flow comes at a price. He toils until the wee hours, then loosens his tie and parties like there's no tomorrow. Unfortunately, there is a tomorrow, and it starts in like three hours. What little time he has for you will be shared with his BlackBerry. The ugly truth: Money is the love of his life, and you're just a mistress ... or second mistress, since he's probably crunching more than numbers with his secretary.
Bashing Men Jokes
Why do doctors slap babies' butts right after they're born?
To knock the penises off the smart ones.
What is that insensitive bit at the base of the penis called?
The man.
Why is psychoanalysis quicker for men than for women?
When it's time to go back to childhood, he's already there.
What do you call a handcuffed man?
Trustworthy.
What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common?
Men always miss them.
Why are men like commercials?
You can't believe a word they say.
Why are men like popcorn?
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
Why are men like blenders?
You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
What's a man's definition of a romantic evening?
Sex.
What is the only time a man thinks about a candlelight dinner?
When the power goes off.
What do men and women have in common?
They both distrust men.
How can you tell the difference between men's real gifts and their guilt gifts? Guilt gifts are nicer.
What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?
His wife is good at picking out clothes.
How is a man like the weather?
Nothing can be done to change either one of them.
Women dream of world peace, a safe environment, and eliminating hunger. What do men dream of?
Being stuck in an elevator with the Doublemint twins.
What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
They're married.
Why do men have a hole in their penis?
So oxygen can get to their brains.
What's easier to make: a snowman or a snowwoman?
A snowwoman is easier to make, 'cause with a snowman you have to hollow out the head and use all that extra snow to make its testicles.
What do you call a man with 99% of his brain missing?
Castrated.
What's the difference between government bonds and men?
Bonds mature.
What's the difference between a man and E.T.?
E.T. phoned home.
Why are all dumb blonde jokes one-liners?
So men can remember them.
